DRESS CODE

She treats every plumbing incident as a carnival, She bought a new dress to savor the few minutes a plumber would spend at her home. As soon as she dialed my number she knew it was time to dress up and put on make up.

Party usually begun when I arrived, I carry my tool bag with me. She stares at my tool bag for the first eight seconds. She is not impressed at how organized my tool bag is. She was interested with my hands! My fingers. She breathes a sigh of relief because my fingers announced that I am available. She feels grateful as she welcomes me because I am available without being available.

CONTROL

She leads me to her leaking faucets, It has been leaking for a few days and her bill was exorbitant. Leaks are irritating but her heart is also leaking. Her love life had gone sour, her love life denied. I console her by telling her I got things under control.

She loves a man who is in control. It shows he understands his policy and objectives. A man that is in control know how to handle delicate and dynamic situation. I knew what to do. I just had to replace her faucet cartridge and the leakage stopped. I could feel her eyes from a distant as I tested her faucet.

She was grateful her leakage stopped and she asked for my number. I gave it to her and she held on to it as I walked away. She was happy I was their without being their.

MIRROR

She is best friends with her mirror, They are like conjoined twins and are inseparable. She spends at least thirty seconds accentuating her beauty using her mirror at house, in car, in handbag or smart phone. She has carried a mirror all her life since graduation, wedding, divorce probably until death separates them.

She does not want to jostle for a place competing with a man in the morning to look in the mirror.

She believes competition begins in the morning and that men that look good in the mirror are only looking good for somebody else. A man that carries a mirror heralds his egocentric, machismo, bravado and cheating lifestyle because it means another heart to be broken.

Experience has taught her competition for a mirror will leave her competing in a dog fight for a third spot with another woman while the man chases top seeds that are younger without wrinkles.

Plumber are not like celebrities, athletes, journalists or lawyers that must look good every time. A plumber looking rugged and torn does not care about a mirror unless he has to go to the barber shop.

Loneliness creeps in and she misses my rugged face again.

CHIVALRY.

Like any other lady she longes to be pursued. She keeps checking her phone for a text or a call but in vain. She knows it is a man who is supposed to call and ask for a date but those are events that are ancient.

She decides to call me and ask if can do oil change on her vehicle but I decline and ask her to get a mechanic.

After a while she calls claiming her dishwasher isn’t getting water water and I should check the plumbing.

I agree and her euphoria comes back like lightning. She is not interested searching for a man in pubs, churches, concerts, seminars or any other avenue while she can have a real man in her kitchen with a push of a button.

SWEAT

I arrived late afternoon a bit tired, oily and sweaty but she doesn’t seem to care. Sweat is hitherto security as it reveals a hardworking, honest, focussed and caring man.

She shows me her dishwasher and I decided to confirm if her angular valve were working. It turns out her angular valve were accidentally or intentionally turned off. I turned them back on and her dishwasher is working as normal.

I explain the situation to her as I point at the angular valve. She leans forward towards me revealing flesh on her breast. Twirls her hair and I smell her perfume. She also smelled my sweat and it did not offend her, my sweat activated her sex hormone.

She asks how much I was going to charge her but before I can decline she had started undressing saying their is another way of payment.

This time I raise my finger and reveal I have a ring and I let her know it is better to cry now than later.